I long ago realised that the relationship I have with myself is the most important one in determining my relationship with others. Unfortunately this relationship has been one that often has a lot of judgment, criticism, shame and general unkindness and this has always been my biggest challenge. So what does it really mean to be friends with yourself and to be kind to yourself?
I had a little realisation in a meditation the other day when I started having a conversation with myself (yes I have quite a lot of those!). I was thinking about how I often associate having no plans with being unlikeable, alone, not worthy, boring and that the conversations with myself will reflect that.
I then started a whole different conversation with myself that went a bit like this
“I have some time – what shall we do?”
“Oh, that’s great that you have some time for us to play, lets have some fun, it will be really nice to hang out with you”
“That’s great.I look forward to it”
I felt my whole body get a little excited and I smiled and it was the exact reaction I might have when I make a plan with a good friend – ahhh so this is what it means to be a friend to yourself.